Statusuri Funny in Engleza

Status1: Cute enough to make you look twice, Sweet enough but not too nice, A lil crazy but not too wild, The kinda girl that'll make you smile

Status2: God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt

Status3: If your name was sleep, I would be doing you in bed right now.

Status4: I can't be with you So all I will do is sleep. Please don't wake me up from this dream For it's all of you that I can keep

Status5: As I lay in my bed looking at the sky I thought "Were the heck did my ceiling go?

Status6: I am off in that wonderful land where I can have anything i want!! When i wake up i'll have to face reality for the next 12 hours so !!Leave me alone!!

Status7: Looking in the mirror Here's what I see A sad little girl staring back at me She acts so tough And so grown up But that's not who she really is And it's not who she wants to be I know this because that little girl is Me

Status8: Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worthwhile so when you are lonely remember it's true somebody somewhere is thinking of you.

Status9: Todays another day time for new beginnings, yesterday I said mean things, but you know I didn't mean it. It's like running out on someone you love even though you still love them, all I needed was time to think, and realize how lucky I am. So when I said don't talk to me and slammed the door in your face, what I meant to say was I love you and my door is always open, life wouldn't be the same without you by me every step of the way.

Status10: You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??

Status11: I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again
The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
If you want me to fall for you, you better get something for me to trip over.

Status12: The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

Status13: If you sleep with a girl without protection, you're having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.

Status14: I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.
Right now I'm dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music

Status15: This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you're IMing me expecting me to read your message and return. The funny thing is that I'm at my computer desk laughing the whole thing up right now.